The Official End of Darwinism

People have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I’d like to think that inherent in these is the right to do whatever harm to your body you want.

Wanna smoke twelve packs a day? Go right ahead. Just don’t do it while I’m sipping my environmentally friendly bottle of Ethos water and ordering a chicken and cranberry almond salad from the drive-thru while sitting in my Prius.

Not to stand in the way of the natural thinning of the herd, the Los Angeles City Council has now ended the right of people to super-size their lives to their heart’s content, at least for a year.

The Los Angeles city council has imposed a ban on new fast-food outlets in a low-income neighbourhood with a high incidence of obesity and diabetes.
The aim of the one-year moratorium is to attract restaurants that offer healthier food choices, officials say.
Nearly half of the restaurants in the South Los Angeles area, inhabited mainly by Latinos and African-Americans, are fast-food outlets.

Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s an ethnic problem. It’s not even an economic problem. It’s a crazy problem.

Some people just aren’t crazy enough to spend $8.00 on a bowl of lettuce with sunflower seeds on it.

I tend to agree with them. But if they want to live by eating 60 chicken nuggets a day, who am I to stop them?

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3 Responses to The Official End of Darwinism

  1. Kevin says:


    (Sorry, you asked for it.)

    I agree with you on the point that the “healthy” type of fast food places tend to be a lot more expensive. I mean, if I was a poor high school or college kid, and there’s a Taco Bell next to a Jamba Juice… As much as I love Jamba Juice, I think I get a lot more bang for the buck on the Taco Bell dollar menu. Know what I mean?

    Plus, they don’t always tend to be that “healthy.” More and more, I find that I have to seek out regular (i.e. not “low calorie” or “fat free” stuff) foods WITH sugar in them, because all the “healthy” / low cal stuff is made with Splenda (a.k.a. sucralose), and the Splenda gives me a migraine headache.

  2. Jay says:

    I know Liberals love to hate “hamburger-flippers,” but those were jobs that people in this tough neighborhood could have used, and not only have the do-gooders robbed these people of their inexpensive, fast, food that they may actually enjoy, they have stolen jobs from this community.

    Where’s the compassion in that?

  3. david foster says:

    This was still a parody when I wrote it…not sure how much longer it will remain as one.

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